back to the beginning

i'm freaking depressed
reading your blog made me depressed
wanting to be YOUR best friend again.
wanting that giddy feeling all over.
want to be the ONE you want to make happy
not HER.
wanting to be the one you wait for the all
the letters. the one you USED to love
remember me? I'm still here. I'm
trying damn hard.


my mom chose the wrong day to say i have another doctor to go to, two mri's, bloodwork, AND a ultrasound. i'm flipped out. what if i have cancer?!?!? i won't be able to handle it anymore. I'm not that strong.

I can't keep fighting these urges to stop doing that one thing.
it drains me, every day. one day, i'm gunna do it, but worse
than i ever have.

blah. not in a good mood today. a foreshadow of things to come?

kate